An ode to women - through Sweden and Poland

Introduction and main body of God knows what

You must have heard of women from the Amazon - strong, vivacious, gorgeous, tall - the cougars that every 24 year old hopes for. What we heard of was legend - possibly a rumour. But every rumour has a miniscule amount of truth that actually triggers the rumour. And so it is in this case. It is true that such women exist. and it is true that our fantasies have some base. But whichever loser wrote about it, was as confused with his geography as Columbus. The women do exist, but not in Amazonian rainforests, but the snow-laden hills of Sweden and Poland.

A glimpse through Goteborg and Stockholm would give you an idea of what I am talking about. In almost every article that I have written, I have stressed on how the women of the region have been beautiful. But things just keep getting better. And this is different. This is on a totally different level altogether. There is no way that such Venusian beauty can be compared to any other region.

Theyre tall. Theyve got great legs. And theyre awesome to talk to. These were my main deducations while on a recon trip for market possibilities in Sweden. Given this fact, I would definitely push for Sweden as a target market and more sales visits to this amazing land of women. Whatever time you spend here is too little. And I spent only 3 days.

Moreover, the women here know that they are beautiful. They know that they are what all men look forward to. Calls from the office have mainly been about blondes rather than work.

And so be it. The next time around, hopefully there will be a little more time at hand to explore this wonderful land that not many people visit since its quite pointless otherwise. The food sucks. The traffic does not exist. It is cold as hell. But these are minor discomforts in our ultimate quest. Thus closes the chapter of my ode to Sweden. Poland promises to be a lot more and uncharted for that matter.

And then I thought that Sweden was the pinnacle. But its a pity that not many of us travel to Poland. As it was once said, "The world is a book, and if you havent traveled to Poland you have not read the steamiest pages". And so it is. The city itself is just coming out of communism. You can still see the matchbox houses among the victorian ones. But the city has something to boast about - in fact a lot of that. And that pertains to the subject at hand. But otherwise as well, the city is just opening itself and showing what it is truly made of.

With an excellent nightlife even at 6 in the morning, the city promises everything. Moreover, its an easy place to be. Not too many people are bothered about the drudgery of life. They are more obsessed with the vodka, their partners and the fact that life is more important than investment banks. A strong jazz culture prevails, probably a reminder of the times past and you can almost imagine yourself in a spy movie - quaint bars with jazz playing, the entry of the lady in red, the small beretta she hides underneath her dress, the wailing of police sirens outside, the man in the panama hat, the huge man smoking on the side noticing everyone's movements, the jazz. This is probably the only evidence that the cold war days were absolutely fabulous.

Warsaw is a place that should be walked through. Don't take a metro, not a stupid merc, not even the cute little trams. Don't even cycle. In Warsaw, you just walk. It is the only way to discover without being late for your appointment. It is also then, that you may see a car chase in action. A casino was looted in Switzerland while I was watching TV while sitting in my room (waiting for my next assignment ;)) - typically Warsawa. It is probably the most James-Bond-ish place in Europe. While Goteborg is spic and span and structured, Warsaw is spic and span without intending to be so. As a result, it is not structured. And you cannot attempt at making sense of the structure, for you would be busy making sense of the street names. I just matched the first 3 letters with the map and went ahead. With 1 million people, it has too many streets for the number of people. Apparently there is a Kopernica street that has only one house.

But back to the music. The cafe I am now in has acid jazz playing. The waitress looks like she could make you spend half your money if she wanted to. My friend had a similar encounter in Barcelona and trust me, it doesn't feel good when you wake up the next day next to an empty wallet instead of a hot woman. All I need now is a white suit and a panama hat. Should have been to Cuba before coming here ;)

Top top things off, I found the office to the secret service in Poland. It is quite close to the Slade Miasto or the Old Town - an area with old buildings and Sherlock Holmes-style cobblestone streets. You can easily get lost in one of the lanes, and as someone told me, walk for hours discovering new pubs and places to eat.

The guide book given to me at the hotel has 3 great paragraphs among various logistical and boring text.

The first was concerning smoking: "Smokers tired of relentless persecution in the West will be delighted to know that few countries boast of such a fierce commitment to the habit as Poland. Although the number of male smokers has plunged from 70% of the population to 38% in recent years, it is still a very tobacco friendly country. Poland is fast becoming the major European production center for leading brands with Phillip Morris, Imperial Tobacco and British American Tobacco all being major investors in the economy." Love it!!

The second is on prostitution: "Those who visited warsaw at the start of the decade may have memories of a mucky city. With an estimated 1500 brothels, the city was giving the likes of Prague a run for its money, and establishing itself as a destination for hair-palmed perverts. then came Mayor Kaczynski a one-man anti sleaze machine......"

The third is on the drunk tank: "Be warned. Polish beer and vodka have been rocket fuel, and have been the ruin of more than a few good men. If you plan on making a prat out of yourself make sure its not in front of a policeman; if there is one thing these guys hate, its a pissed up foreigner swaggering around like Charlie Big Potatoes. If you're lucky you'll get a good ticking off and a cuff around the ear. Those less fortunate will find themselves in the back of a black Maria, and screeching off in the direction of ul. Kolska 2/4. Known as the drunk tank, its here you'll be charged 250zl, be subject to a strip search and find yur garb exchanged for a blue smock..... Don't expect to be handed the chance of a phone call, this is instant justice Polski style, and those resisting arrest will find themselves strapped to a bed, possibly even forcefully injected with sedatives...."

But to be in winter will not let you have the best of Warsaw. The trees are barren and the cars are mucky. Warsaw and Poznan take on a subdued hue of their spring avatars. The best time would probably be summer.

And so it is. Poland shows how a country can get back together after being destroyed by Hitler and then taken over by communism. The country is thriving and the people take care of their cities, the public transport system is active and more efficient than the Rajdhani express and the women are bellisima. It is sure to develop into a very important city if given a little time. Things look good and the cold winters cant really take anything away from it. Warsawazzzaaa is an excellent place for a quick shot of strong vodka, excellent stroganoffs, for the palace of science and culture, for the impossible-to-pronounce names, for the lust and for the life.

Random stories of minimal importance

The Turkish flight is always delayed. He aways had problems connecting to Istanbul And he has always lost his book on the way. There are 500 different ways of getting back from Warsaw. But by far, Turkish comes a close second to walking as being the slowest means of transportation. And the worst part is people get pissed off - or worse - bored. Only the obnoxious ones seem to be doing the talking. On Good Friday when most people are at home, watching a movie with their family, he has to wait at the departure lounge of an airport waiting for his plane that shows no signs of arriving. From 1340 to 1420 while he writes - as he has nothing better to do (cant play brickbreaker for the phone is out of charge, cant read as he doesnt have a book anymore, doesnt have a computer as he packed away everything to make space in his hand baggage for shot glasses. A steady stream of arrivees on the landing above him gives him some hope. Maybe 1420 wont run into 1500 after all. A good night almost always leads to a bad day.

Epilogue

It is wierd how you miss a place the most on the flight out of there. There are always 10 other things that you could have done. There are so many other people that you had to meet. There are so many other places where you could have spent drinking Wyborowa and talking. No matter how long you've stayed tere, you always feel as if you had to leave when you were just warming up to the place. These last words as I see the lights of Delhi.

As I move to Bhutan and South Africa next, I hope that this feeling of unfulfillment, if I may say so, is reduced.

Mazdrovia